Archive for the ‘Crazy is as Crazy Does’ Category

Koreans push marriage to the next level

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Man marries pillow

True love can take many forms. In this case, it has taken the form of a Korean man falling in love with, and eventually marrying, a large pillow with a picture of a woman on it.

Lee Jin-gyu fell for his ‘dakimakura’ – a kind of large, huggable pillow from Japan, often with a picture of a popular anime character printed on the side.

In Lee’s case, his beloved pillow has an image of Fate Testarossa, from the ‘magical girl’ anime series Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha.

Now the 28-year-old otaku (a Japanese term that roughly translates to somewhere between ‘obsessive’ and ‘nerd’) has wed the pillow in a special ceremony, after fitting it out with a wedding dress for the service in front of a local priest.

Their nuptials were eagerly chronicled by the local media. ‘He is completely obsessed with this pillow and takes it everywhere,’ said one friend.

Germans want Greece to start liquidating itself

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Greece should sell islands to cut debt – Merkel allies:

Greece should consider selling some of its uninhabited islands to cut its debt, according to political allies of German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Josef Schlarmann and Frank Schaeffler told Germany’s Bild daily that the Greek state should sell stakes in all its assets to raise more cash.

Greek PM George Papandreou is due to meet Mrs Merkel in Berlin later this week for talks about the crisis.

Mr Papandreou has already announced a strict austerity programme.

Sell your islands, you bankrupt Greeks – and the Acropolis too!” says the headline in the Bild newspaper.

It sounds like the sort of daydream induced by too much ouzo, but the idea comes from two senior politicians in Europe’s biggest economy.

Mr Schlarmann is a senior member of Mrs Merkel’s Christian Democrats and Mr Schaeffler is an MP for the Free Democrats – the junior partner in the centre-right coalition.

Perhaps it’s time to find a new psychiatrist?

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Patients try to keep appointments with with psychiatrist jailed in sword attack

Patients of a northern Kentucky psychiatrist jailed on a charge he stabbed a woman with a sword have tried to keep appointments with him in jail.

Kenton County jail Chief Deputy Scott Colvin said deputies have had to turn away several patients of Douglas Rank, charged last month with first-degree assault in an attack on 32-year-old woman.

Colvin told the Kentucky Enquirer that some patients have asked if they could drop off Rank’s prescription pad at the jail so he could write their prescriptions.

Colvin said the requests have been denied, as prisoners are not allowed to practice their trade in jail.

Dollars?! We don’t need no stinkin’ dollars!

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

South Carolina Lawmaker Seeks to Ban Federal Currency

South Carolina Rep. Mike Pitts has introduced legislation that would mandate that gold and silver coins replace federal currency as legal tender in his state.

As the Palmetto Scoop first reported, Pitts, a Republican, introduced legislation this month banning “the unconstitutional substitution of Federal Reserve Notes for silver and gold coin” in South Carolina.

In an interview, Pitts told Hotsheet that he believes that “if the federal government continues to spend money at the rate it’s spending money, and if it continues to print money at the rate it’s printing money, our economic system is going to collapse.”

“The Germans felt their system wouldn’t collapse, but it took a wheelbarrow of money to buy a loaf of bread in the 1930s,” he said.

“The Soviet Union didn’t think their system would collapse, but it did. Ours is capable of collapsing also.”

Shredders get devoured by the avalanche they triggered

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Boarders swept up by avalanche

THIS is the heart-stopping moment three snowboarders were engulfed by a massive avalanche. The thrill-seekers are seen zig-zagging across fresh snow on this amazing video — but their carefree attitude quickly changes when tons of the white stuff starts roaring down the mountain towards them.

Eight people have died in similar incidents in just 48 hours across Italy, where the dramatic footage was caught by a walker on another slope. The three boarders, whose aggressive moves are not recommended on new snow, are seen frantically trying to escape — but one by one they are picked off.

The walker immediately alerted police and mountain rescue teams, who raced to the 7,100ft Mt Cimone in the Apennines, close to Modena. But despite searching for more than four hours with dogs, heat-seeking equipment and a helicopter, no trace of the three was found.

Crazy Felix Baumgartner ready for a supersonic skydive from space

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

Skydiving From Space:

The Red Bull Stratos team has kept itself under wraps until today’s press conference at the New York Academy of Sciences in NYC. The ambitious project marks the first major attempt at breaking an old but daunting skydiving record, one that starts at the edge of space.

In 1960, U.S. Air Force Captain Joe Kittinger stepped out of a capsule at 102,800 feet above the Earth’s surface and, in just minutes returned to the surface by simply falling. The falling part was easy. The surviving part was not—his first jump, from the Excelsior I module nearly ended in disaster when a parachute cord wrapped around his neck. His main chute, attached to a timer, deployed and saved him.

In Excelsior III, he failed to report a malfunctioning glove and nearly lost his hand to depressurization. But his record-breaking jump was successful, and having fulfilled its mission, the Air Force stopped jumping from record heights. His would-be successor is cut from the same mold, but has traveled a far different road.

Felix Baumgartner wears two tattoos—one, on his arm that says “Born to Fly” and another on his back, 502, that marks his BASE-jumping code—and has built a career out of from skydiving with frightening regularity and launching himself from architectural landmarks like the Gold Gate Bridge and Taipei 101 with a parachute on his back.

He is a daredevil, but according to Kittinger and the rest of the Red Bull Stratos team, he is a calculating one that has survived thousands of skydives by knowing how to prepare and when to back away from a jump.

So then, is this jump a stunt? In a way, it is. This is sponsored by Red Bull, after all, which has associated itself with extreme, entertaining, and daring sporting endeavors for the last decade or so, from the Dakar Rally to snowboard racing.

Would you care for a little pee with your steaks?

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Ohio Man Arrested on Charges of Urinating on $600-Worth of Steaks

An Ohio man is in jail after police arrested him on charges of urinating on a meat counter at a Wal-Mart store, Cleveland’s Fox8.com reported.

Robert T. Jenkins, 21, of Canton, Ohio, was arrested at 1:30 a.m. local time on Friday morning, Lt. Linda Brown of the Canton Police Department told Fox8.com.

Jenkins was charged with felony vandalism and disorderly conduct.

Jenkins was arrested after police responded to a call from an employee at the Wal-Mart store telling authorities that a man walked up to the meat counter and began urinating on the steaks, police told Fox8.com.

The disorderly conduct destroyed more than $600 dollars in meat.

Skydiving from space

Saturday, January 23rd, 2010

Skydiver to break records with space dive

Austrian-born Felix Baumgartner will plummet 125,000 feet in a fall that will see him break the sound barrier.

His jump, which is being assisted by former Nasa and US Air Force engineers, will feature in a documentary to be shown on BBC

It is 50 years since American Joe Kittinger made history by leaping from a balloon at 102,800ft.

Mr Baumgartner, who is known for stunts such as jumping off the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, will travel up to 125,000ft in a specially designed capsule suspended beneath a helium balloon.

His freefall will last for more than five minutes and he will have to wear a specially made pressure suit and helmet to protect his body in the extreme cold and thin air.

It is hoped that the jump will answer a number of important scientific questions.

Reaching speeds of over 690mph (Mach 1) in just 35 seconds his body will experience some of the most arduous conditions ever experienced in freefall.

His team also hope to use the “space dive” to gather data about the stratosphere and how the body copes with the extreme conditions.

Volcano tourism for fun and profit

Friday, January 1st, 2010

Local official tagged in ‘disaster tourism’

Albay Governor Joey S. Salceda on Tuesday issued a strong warning against a local official who is reportedly escorting tourists within the designated danger zone around Mayon Volcano.

Disaster officials were also furious after receiving reports that City Councilor Celoy Chan has been allegedly renting his all-terrain vehicles (ATVs) to foreign tourists.

“It’s stupidity,” said Salceda. “We have been spending a lot of money and exerting all our efforts to clear the danger zones and there he is, disregarding what was agreed upon.”

“If he does not stop, we will take action against him,” the governor warned.

You can’t fly in America if you don’t speak English

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

Brooksville plane forced down near Everglades by military

A man who allegedly took a plane from a Brooksville airport was forced down by a military aircraft Wednesday afternoon.

According to Wendell Stephens, a supervisor at American Aviation in the Hernando County Airport, the owner and pilot of the plane was a French citizen who was licensed to fly the plane.

A Federal Aviation Administration-certified instructor who flew with the man recommended that he not fly the plane because he could not communicate in English with anyone on the ground or in the air.

This was explained to the pilot through an interpreter, and the pilot became indignant and took off in the plane anyway, Stephens said.

Salac said she wasn’t sure who called authorities at the North American Aerospace Defense Command — the military agency that handles airspace threats — but jets responded quickly to pursue the small plane. Two F-15s forced the plane down at the Dade-Collier Training and Transition Airport in Collier County.

Pope-tipping XMas Eve at the Vatican

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

Woman Knocks Down Pope At Christmas Eve Mass, Says Vatican

A woman has been arrested after jumping over barriers and knocking down the Pope at Christmas Eve Mass.

Pope Benedict Pope Benedict XVI was attacked as he walked down the main aisle to begin service at St Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican.

Vatican spokesman Ciro Benedettini said the 82-year-old quickly got to his feet and was unhurt.

Mr Benedettini said the woman appeared to be mentally unstable and was being questioned by Vatican police.

He said she also knocked down Cardinal Roger Etchegaray, who was taken to hospital for a check-up.

Can Tiger learn from this guy?

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Colombian farmer castrates himself:

It is a man’s worst nightmare but for Colombian farmer Luis Alfonso Sanchez it seemed the logical thing to do.

The 40-year-old decided to castrate himself to avoid cheating on his wife who refused to have sex with him. Mr Sanchez had performed the act on many of his animals in the past and believed the procedure would be as easy for him saying: “I’ve castrated pigs, cats, dogs and three days later they are healed.

“I thought that’s what it was going to be like with me. I had practice with animals, so I went ahead, put some pressure on it, and cut them to remove them by force!”

“When I saw that I could no longer count on her (his wife), so that I would’t keep bothering her, I made the decision to cut my testicles off because I am a Christian and did not want to go look for another (partner).”

That’s one way to make a name for yourself

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Man leaves money to towns that share his name

A man has left around £220,000 in his will to towns across the world that share his surname.

Solicitors acting on behalf of Eric Gordon Douglas from Edinburgh, have sent a cheque for £10,887.73 to Douglas Borough Council on the Isle of Man as part of the bequest. But the council for the island’s capital have appealed for more information on Mr Douglas in order to recognise his donation.

Council leader David Christian said today: ”There was around £220,000 left to 20 places across the globe that shared his surname.

”If we can get more information then that would be excellent. We literally know nothing about the gentleman apart from his name and that we were told by his lawyers that he was from Edinburgh.

How to motivate your employees, New York style

Saturday, November 21st, 2009

New York Restaurant Owners Turn Evil:

Times are tough, and people are sat at home chewing bellybutton fluff instead of eating out or ordering in. What are restaurant owners doing? Some are not paying staff, and others are sending abusive emails calling them “fucking lazy motherfuckers.”

Vadim Ponorovsky, the owner of Paradou, a restaurant in the Meatpacking district, described on its website as a “light-filled, airy oasis… filled with warmth and charm,” really REALLY wants waitstaff to collect email addresses from customers, presumably so he can spam them.

Here’s the happy, team-building email he sent out, from a tipster.

To All,

Please read this email carefully.

This is the last time we will be discussing this. This weekend, saturday and sunday we had 451 customers. Guess how many emails we collected? 60? 80? 40? No. None of those. We, or more acurately you, collected 2 emails. Thats less than half of one percent. 2 fucking emails.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES?!?!?! How many times do we have to tell you how important it is that you collect emails. Everytime we have a slow night and you make no money and you sit there bitching about how you make no money, remember its because youre fucking lazy motherfuckers. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY!!!!! ALL OF YOU, INCLUDING THE HOSTS!!!!

Let me guess, youre probably sitting there saying “Vadim is such a fucking asshole. How dare he speak to me like this. I dont need this.” Youre right, you dont, so why dont you get the fuck out. Any and all of you.

Youre probably sitting there saying “How dare he speak to me like this. How dare he not have respect for me”. Youre right there also. I have absolutely no respect for any of you. Why? Because every fucking day, all of you continue to show that you have absolutely no respect for me or Alex. So if you dont respect us enough to do the little that we ask you to do, then GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FUCKING LAZY DISRESPECTFUL ASSHOLES!!!!!

Effective immediately, any server or host who fails to collect at least 20 emails per week, will be fined $100. Anyone failing to collect at least 20 emails for two weeks in a month will be fired immediately. No matter what. No matter who you are. You dont want to do your job, you dont want to do what we ask, you dont belong at Paradou.

Go find another place to work. How dare you disrespect Alex and me this way. How dare you completely ignore what we ask of you time after time after time. I am sick of all this shit, you bunch of fucking children. This is what I have to deal with at 6AM?!?!? I wouldnt tolerate this from my 13 year old, and Im sure as shit not going to tolerate it from any of you assholes.

You give no respect, you get 10 times back.

Yet another reason to avoid Bulgaria

Monday, October 26th, 2009

‘Russian road roulette’ plagues streets of Sofia

A new game, known as “Russian road roulette”, is played every night at intersections throughout the Bulgarian capital. As many as five people have been killed and many injured since the craze took hold in the summer.

According to the rules, participants must drive at top speed and not apply their brakes.  The 50 or so drivers, most of them in their twenties and driving sports utility vehicles, gather at midnight at designated meeting points in the north of the city.

While lookouts watch for the police, the participants decide on the venue for the night. Other gang members are informed via texts and the gambling starts.

To win at Russian road roulette, the driver must jump red lights at busy crossroads at full speed and not collide with another vehicle, pedestrian or leave the road. If he hits an object, he loses the bet. Onlookers also take part by gambling on the outcome.

Chaos at Burlington Coat Factory

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

Lottery hoax causes riot at Ohio coat store:

A woman being driven around in a rented limousine pulled up at a coat store and announced she’d won the lottery and would pay for everyone’s purchases, police said, but she ended up causing a riot when customers realized it was a hoax.

Angry customers threw merchandise around and looted, leaving the store looking as though a hurricane had passed through it, police said.

Linda Brown was arrested Tuesday after an hours-long shopping spree that began when she hired a stretch Hummer limousine to drop her off at a Burlington Coat Factory store, police Sgt. Lt. Michael Deakins said.

Brown walked to a cash register and loudly announced she had won the lottery and would pay for each person’s merchandise up to $500, he said.

Russian doomsday machine no longer secret, but still active

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Inside the Apocalyptic Soviet Doomsday Machine:

Valery Yarynich glances nervously over his shoulder. Clad in a brown leather jacket, the 72-year-old former Soviet colonel is hunkered in the back of the dimly lit Iron Gate restaurant in Washington, DC. It’s March 2009—the Berlin Wall came down two decades ago—but the lean and fit Yarynich is as jumpy as an informant dodging the KGB.

He begins to whisper, quietly but firmly. “The Perimeter system is very, very nice,” he says. “We remove unique responsibility from high politicians and the military.” He looks around again. Yarynich is talking about Russia’s doomsday machine. That’s right, an actual doomsday device—a real, functioning version of the ultimate weapon, always presumed to exist only as a fantasy of apocalypse-obsessed science fiction writers and paranoid über-hawks. The thing that historian Lewis Mumford called “the central symbol of this scientifically organized nightmare of mass extermination.”

Turns out Yarynich, a 30-year veteran of the Soviet Strategic Rocket Forces and Soviet General Staff, helped build one.  The point of the system, he explains, was to guarantee an automatic Soviet response to an American nuclear strike. Even if the US crippled the USSR with a surprise attack, the Soviets could still hit back. It wouldn’t matter if the US blew up the Kremlin, took out the defense ministry, severed the communications network, and killed everyone with stars on their shoulders. Ground-based sensors would detect that a devastating blow had been struck and a counterattack would be launched.

The technical name was Perimeter, but some called it Mertvaya Ruka, or Dead Hand. It was built 25 years ago and remained a closely guarded secret. With the demise of the USSR, word of the system did leak out, but few people seemed to notice. In fact, though Yarynich and a former Minuteman launch officer named Bruce Blair have been writing about Perimeter since 1993 in numerous books and newspaper articles, its existence has not penetrated the public mind or the corridors of power. The Russians still won’t discuss it, and Americans at the highest levels—including former top officials at the State Department and White House—say they’ve never heard of it.

When I recently told former CIA director James Woolsey that the USSR had built a doomsday device, his eyes grew cold. “I hope to God the Soviets were more sensible than that.” They weren’t.

Male breastfeeding experiment in Sweden

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Swedish dad in bid for breast milk

Swedish father Ragnar Bengtsson, 26, has entered into an experiment that he hopes will help him breastfeed his future children.

On Tuesday, the Stockholm family man began stimulating his breasts with a pump in a bid to produce milk.

“Anything that doesn’t do any harm is worth trying out. And if it works it could prove very important for men’s ability to get much closer to their children at an early stage,” Bengtsson told The Local.

His efforts are to be documented by Swedish TV8, with the first instalment scheduled to air at 9pm on Wednesday on the Aschberg show. Bengtsson also maintains a blog on the station’s website, the title of which translates as: ‘The Milkman – One Drop at a Time’.

Bengtsson is preparing to pump his breasts at three-hour intervals every day until the beginning of December. As a full time economics student at Stockholm University, he is not always going to be in a position to pump in private.

Flying while drunk not too brite

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Drunk pilot: Where have you hidden the runway?

An intoxicated pilot had to be guided to land by a rescue helicopter after he radioed the control tower to ask: “Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?”

The 65-year-old amateur pilot allegedly tanked up on beer and wine before taking to the skies above the eastern German state of Thuringia in his Cessna light aircraft on Saturday afternoon. Once airborne, he served himself some more cocktails while at the controls

Two hours later he was apparently so inebriated that he was unable to read the instruments telling him where the Schoengleida airfield was.

“Come on, I know you’re down there,” he radioed. “Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?”

Eating your child’s eyes is ok in Kern County

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Dad who ‘ate’ son’s eyes won’t stand trial

The man accused of biting out his 4-year-old son’s eyes will not stand trial.

A Kern County Superior Court judge ruled Tuesday that Angelo Mendoza is not mentally competent for trial. County mental health officials will recommend whether Mendoza should go to a county or state mental health facility.

The 34-year-old man is accused of attacking his son, Angelo Mendoza Jr., in late April. The child, who was discovered by a neighbor lying naked in a bloody heap on the floor of an Ohio Drive apartment, told officers, “My daddy ate my eyes” and “Daddy bit my eyes and hands,” according to Bakersfield police reports.

Mendoza is in a wheelchair with a spinal cord injury, and police said he rolled away from his apartment after the alleged attack and started hacking away at his leg with an ax. Police reported that Mendoza was showing signs of being under the influence of the psychedelic drug best known as PCP or angel dust during the alleged abuse.

Paintball vigilantes on the loose in North Carolina

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

‘Angry Neighbors With Paintball Guns’ amazed at reaction

A group of Durham residents taking aim at speeders with the threat of a paintball gun said Tuesday that they are “amazed and gratified at the reaction.”

The group, Angry Neighbors With Paintball Guns, posted signs at strategic locations throughout the city, warning motorists to slow down or risk being shot at with a paintball gun.

The group does not say if the signs are meant to serve only as an attention-grabber or if it plans to shoot paintballs at vehicles.

“We received top story coverage on local television news, more than half a dozen requests for interviews from local media outlets, and generated hundreds of comments on blogs, media websites, and Facebook,” according to an e-mail from a group member, who declined to release his or her name. “We received numerous requests from individuals who wish to receive their own copies of our sign. We inspired the creation of a Facebook group. We clearly touched a nerve in the city of Durham.”

Russian navy deeply concerned about missing timber cargo

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

Mystery deepens over disappearing merchant ship

The mystery surrounding a missing merchant ship deepened Thursday with the vessel’s operator suggesting piracy and maritime experts suspecting foul play or even a secret cargo. The Kremlin ordered Russian warships to join the hunt for the 4,000-tonne, 98-meter bulk carrier Arctic Sea, whose fate has baffled maritime authorities across Europe and North Africa.

The Maltese-registered vessel, carrying a $1.3-million cargo of timber, was supposed to have docked on August 4 in the Algerian port of Bejaia. It never arrived and is thought to have last made contact from the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of France.

Mikhail Boytenko, editor of Russia’s respected Sovfracht maritime journal, said that the ship may have been carrying a secret cargo unknown to the vessel’s owners or operators.

Yet another freak emerges from the Clinton crew

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

Ex-Clinton aide named in prison smuggling case:

A former chief of staff for Bill Clinton when he was governor of Arkansas faces felony charges accusing her of smuggling a knife and 48 tattoo needles onto the state’s death row.

The charging of Betsey Wright, 66, of Rogers, Ark., comes as The Associated Press obtained documents showing death-row inmate passed love letters and contraband to a guard he committed a sex act with.

Combined, they represent just the latest in a series of high-profile incidents at the state prison system, ranging from two convicted murderers escaping in guard uniforms to a man being shot to death at a contraband checkpoint.

Wright, a longtime visitor to death row at the state’s Varner Unit, was arrested May 22 after a guard noticed a knife mixed in with her materials at an X-ray machine, an Arkansas State Police report shows. Inside a bag of Doritos, the guard found 48 tattoo needles, the report claims.  Wright also had a box cutter and tweezers, the report claims.

In an interview with the AP, Wright denied the charges against her.

Never mess with Greek women!

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

‘Hero’ Greek woman sets fire to drunken Briton’s genitals

The unidentified woman from the fiercely proud island of Crete won herself even more praise by doing the right legal thing – turning herself over to police and the courts to be put on trial for what she claimed was her “right to self-defence”.

She will face a magistrate on Friday to see if the case will go to court. She is currently facing an investigating magistrate on charges of causing bodily injuries to the Briton and of endangering private property.

The Briton himself, whose name is expected to be released later, is currently in a private clinic in Heraklion, the capital of Crete island, being treated for second degree burns to his testicles and penis.

According to a police statement issued last night the incident occurred at a club in the notorious coastal resort of Mallia, which is dominated by young Britons seeking all-night revelry.

It alleged the Briton took down his trousers and started waving his genitals at a number of girls. He then specifically “forcefully fondled” the 26-year old Greek woman, asking her to take hold of his genitals.

After asking him to stop harassing her, the police said, she poured the alcoholic drink Sabucco on his genitals (an Italian brand type of Greek ouzo or French Pernod drink).

This again allegedly failed to stop his advances, so the woman seized a lighter and set fire to the alcohol-drenched genitals, local press reports said.

Yet another reason to avoid shopping

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Shopaholic died under purchases:

The body of an elderly shopaholic was found underneath a pile of clothing and other items after she died of natural causes, an inquest heard.

Joan Cunnane’s bungalow was so crammed with purchases it took five visits to the house before she was found.

She had refused to let her friends into the house in Heaton Mersey, Stockport Magistrates’ Court was told. Her friend Roy Moran said the 77-year-old started shopping to escape youths who once plagued her home.

Mr Moran told the court: “She said it gave her pleasure to buy things, she only bought things she really liked.” Mr Moran last saw his friend on Christmas Day 2008 when they had lunch together. ‘

He visited her bungalow in Rosgill Close four days later and found the side door ajar, but the premises was stacked from floor to ceiling with “bric-a-brac”.

“He couldn’t see her anywhere and got no response,” said coroner John Pollard.

No shortage of volunteers for one way tickets to the final frontier

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

Space exploration volunteers wanted (The catch? It’s a one-way ticket)

It is often described as “the final frontier”, and not just by those who follow the adventures of Captain Kirk and the crew of the USS Enterprise.

The phrase, though, may take an even more literal meaning for those exploring space in the future. The next generation of astronauts may hurtle through the cosmos for years or decades on a mission to explore distant planets and stars – and never return.

A senior Nasa official has told the Guardian that the world’s space agencies, or the commercial firms that may eventually succeed them, could issue one-way tickets to space, with the travellers accepting that they would not come back.

The prospect of spending years cooped in a spacecraft would not deter people from applying, he said.

“You would find no shortage of volunteers,” said John Olson, Nasa’s director of exploration systems integration. “It’s really no different than the pioneering spirit of many in past history, who took the one-way trip across the ocean, or the trip out west across the United States with no intention of ever returning.”

The things we do for love…

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Ex-tax worker: I stole $11 million for love

A former Colorado Department of Revenue supervisor says love for her ex-boyfriend led her to steal $11 million in unclaimed tax refunds from the state.

The ex-boyfriend, Hysear Randell, is on trial in Denver this week on charges of theft, forgery, computer crime and racketeering.

On Wednesday, Michelle Cawthra testified that she deposited unclaimed tax refunds and other money in Randell’s bank accounts over two years by forging documents and creating fake businesses.

She said she frequently used computer passwords of other workers so she wouldn’t be detected.

How not to circumcise yourself

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

Man uses nail clippers to circumcise himself in DIY disaster

DO-IT-YOURSELF is becoming ever more popular these days, but a young man took the concept slightly too far when he used a pair of nail clippers to circumcise himself.

Unfortunately things didn’t work out according to plan, and the unnamed man was taken to Lister Hospital in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, where the wound had to be cleaned and disinfected.

The man was kept in the hospital for further observation.

“This is something we would advise men never to attempt,” a medic told the Telegraph. “The results can be quite horrific and long-lasting and have quite an affect on a man’s sexual performance. Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand.”

Hat tip to Valentina!

A Love Letter Straight From His Crossbow

Monday, June 8th, 2009

Crossbow-Wielding Stalker Attacks Actress

A stalker obsessed with a young Spanish actress shot at her with a crossbow before being wrestled to the ground and arrested outside a Madrid theater, police said Monday.

The official says the arrow from the crossbow aimed at Sara Casasnovas hit a male bystander, who was not seriously hurt in the attack Sunday evening.

The suspected attacker is a 39-year-old German, who became obsessed with Casasnovas after seeing her a year and a half ago on Spanish National Television’s international channel.

 The official told The Associated Press the man had been sending the 25-year-old actress love letters and attacked her outside a theater where she had just finished a performance of “Night of the Iguana,” after she told him she wanted nothing to do with him.

The man was carrying a military-style backpack that contained a second crossbow, arrows with harpoon-style tips, a can of gasoline, handcuffs, rope, a canister of mace and a poster from a play in which Casasnovas had performed a few months ago, the official said.

Obama’s Lee Harvey Oswald on the loose, hunted by Feds

Friday, June 5th, 2009

Feds Search for Man Allegedly on ‘Mission to Kill the President’

Federal authorities in Utah are searching for a man who allegedly made threats against President Obama.Daniel James Murray has been charged with making threats against President Obama, after telling a bank teller he was part of a “mission” to kill the president.

The Secret Service says Murray has at least eight registered firearms. His whereabouts are unknown. Murray entered Zion’s First National Bank in St. George, Utah on May 19, to open a savings account with an $85,000 check, according to a criminal complaint filed in federal court in Salt Lake City today.

Murray allegedly asked if the bank was solvent and then stated, according to the complaint, “With all this mess going on under President Obama with banks and the economy, I’m sure if citizens happen to lose their money, they will rise up and we could see killing and deaths.”

Murray told the teller during that visit, the complaint added, “We are 94 million miles from the sun, and are in-between the sun and moon, and the eagle that flies between them, and it’s a giant step for mankind. … I have traveled thousands of miles to be here and know things that are going to happen. … The banking system will fail and people will die. … There will be chaos in the world.”

The next day, according to the complaint, Murray withdrew the remaining $72,000 and closed his account.

There are better ways to spite your father than this!

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Egypt Man Castrates Self for Love, Police Say

A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported Sunday.

After unsuccessfully petitioning his father for two years to marry the girl, the man heated up a knife and sliced off his reproductive organ, said a police official.

The young man came from a prominent family in the southern Egyptian province of Qena, one of Egypt’s poorest and most conservative areas that is also home to the famed ancient Egyptian ruins of Luxor.

The man was rushed to the hospital but doctors were unable to reattach the severed member, the official added citing the police report filed after the incident.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets dragged to their death

Monday, May 18th, 2009

Man joyriding on roof of car dragged to his death

Police say a man is dead after slipping from the roof of a car while joyriding.

The man was one of two male passengers riding on the roof of a Toyota Camry in Sunnyvale Saturday night, police say.

The car was traveling between 30 and 40 miles per hour.

The victim slipped off the car’s roof, holding on while being dragged an undetermined distance and then falling onto the road.

The victim died shortly after being taken to El Camino Hospital.

Yet another anti-war phony-veteran humiliation for the Democrats

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

Dems red-faced over veteran imposter 

Rick Strandlof, executive director of the Colorado Veterans Alliance and the man most colleagues knew as Rick Duncan, was front and center during the 2008 political campaigns in Colorado.

He spoke at a Barack Obama veterans rally in front of the Capitol in July, co-hosted several events with then- congressional candidate Jared Polis and attacked Republican Senate candidate Bob Schaffer in a TV ad paid for by the national group Votevets.org. And the mostly Democratic candidates he supported — looking for credibility on veterans issues and the war — lapped it up appreciatively.

Now, politicians are dealing with news that the man they believed to be a former Marine and war veteran wounded in Iraq by a roadside bomb, in fact, never served in the military — but did spend time in a mental hospital.

Many of the candidates he supported won their elections handily and now say they were defrauded as much as anyone else.

“His fraud is a slap in the face to veterans everywhere and a betrayal to us all,” Rep. Polis, a Boulder Democrat, said in a written statement Thursday.

“It sounds like this man had a problem telling the truth and needs help,” said Tara Trujillo, a spokeswoman for Sen. Mark Udall, D-Colo.

Strolling naked in Singapore not too brite

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Couple fined for strolling naked in Singapore:

A Swedish man and a Singaporean woman have been fined for strolling naked through a busy upscale bar and restaurant area for a stunt after a few drinks, local media reported Friday. Jan Philip, 21, an exchange student with a local university, and Eng Kai Er, a 24-year-old Singaporean studying in Sweden, were each fined 2,000 Singapore dollars (1,300 US) for committing an obscene act, the Straits Times said. In January, the two attracted much attention when they strolled naked through Holland Village, a place popular among expatriates for its bars and al fresco restaurants, apparently after drinking beer.

It’s good to be a Star Trek dog

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

“Star Trek” Fortune Goes to the Dogs

The Star Trek fortune is going to the dogs.

 Just before Majel Roddenberry, wife of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, died in December 2008, she put a clause in her trust that provided lavishly for her beloved pups, according to TMZ.

The trust documents, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, stipulate that Roddenberry’s dogs will be able to live in one of the family’s mansions until they cease to live long and prosper.

 The dogs also are entitled to a $4 million fund to upkeep their swanky dog house, and their own highly paid attendant.

The trust provides $1 million for Reinelda Estupinian, who cared for the dogs for the last few years. In the paper Rodennberry said Estupinian “did an excellent job of caring for my animals (giving them comparable or better care than that which I gave them during my lifetime).”

Robbing hairdresser not the safest thing to do

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Hairdresser turns robber into sex-slave :

A hairdresser from the small Russian town of Meshchovsk has subdued a man who tried to rob her shop, and then raped him for three days in the utility room, Life.ru reports.

The incident occurred on Saturday, March 14. The working day was coming to an end at a small hairdressers, when a man armed with a gun rushed in and demanded the day’s earnings. The frightened employees and customers agreed to fulfill his demand, but when the shop’s owner, 28-year-old Olga, was handing the money to the robber, she suddenly knocked him down on the floor and then tied him up with a hairdryer cord.

The 32-year-old Viktor couldn’t have known that the woman was a yellow belt in karate. Read more Olga locked the unlucky robber in the utility room and told her colleagues that she was going to call the police – but didn’t do so. When everybody left home, she approached the man and ordered him to ‘take of his underpants’ threatening to hand him over to the police if he refuses to cooperate.

After that Olga raped her hostage for three long days. She chained Viktor to the radiator with pink furry handcuffs and fed him Viagra. She eventually let the man go on Monday, March 16, saying: “Get out of my sight!”

Viktor went straight to hospital as his genitals were injured, and then to the police.

“Wait until he gets a load of the prison food”

Saturday, April 4th, 2009

Cops: Man who didn’t like sandwich attacks fiance

Feeding picky eaters can be a pain.

Just ask Lyndel Toppin’s fiancée, whose middle finger was almost chopped off when Toppin allegedly attacked her with a kitchen knife, according to Upper Darby police.

The reason for the assault, cops say, was a poorly made meatball sandwich. Specifically, the cheese placement was all wrong, which infuriated Toppin.

“That was the catalyst,” police Superintendent Michael Chitwood said. The 44-year-old woman, whom cops did not identify, was preparing dinner last week in her Kingston Road home when Toppin “became enraged due to the victim not placing cheese on his hoagie roll correctly,” according to the arrest affidavit.

Asking about Xenu makes you a hater

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Scoop: Scientology Spokesman Confirms Xenu Story:

After years of dismissing the story as false, Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis has confirmed that the story of mankind’s origins involving an alien overlord named Xenu is indeed authentic Scientology teaching.

In the exclusive interview with KESQ News Channel 3 reporter[1], Nathan Baca, Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis was asked about the story of Xenu, known to senior Scientologists as part of “Operating Thetan Level III”, or “OT III” for short.

Davis denied the story at first (as he has done in the past), stating that these were claims “forwarded by anti-Scientologists.”

When Baca began reading from a book written by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard that mentions the Xenu story, Davis became defensive, admitting that the story is indeed authentic, but confidential. He then accused Nathan Baca of religious hate, saying that a non-Scientologist asking about Scientology’s core beliefs is an “offensive concept”, and that Baca was “just forwarding an agenda of hate.”

Beating up the dead at their funeral not too brite

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Stranger Hits Dead Man:Officials Release Report and Tickets

Tammy Fausel said that she and her family were shocked at what happened during her uncle’s funeral in Gray Court.

A Candler, N.C., woman danced in front of the service, waved a wand around the casket, opened the lid, laid her hands on the deceased’s head and struck the body with a wand, according to an incident report from the Laurens County Sheriff’s Office.

Nicole Marie Loretta Leonard, 25, has been charged with disturbing a funeral and public disorderly conduct in Tuesday’s incident, according to tickets.

Well, that’s one way to get off the airplane first!

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Man jumps off taxiing airliner from Charlotte

A 26-year-old passenger on board an American Airlines jet from Charlotte to Dallas opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute Tuesday as the aircraft waited to taxi to its gate at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport.

The man, who had not been identified Tuesday night, reportedly ran into the first class section of American Airlines Flight 1343 and opened the exit door, according to an airport advisory. The plane, an MD-80, had just arrived from Charlotte/Douglas International Airport about 1 p.m. and was parked on a ramp when the incident happened.

After opening the door, the man deployed the inflatable slide and slid down to the Aircraft Operations Area, where he was held by American fleet service clerks until airport public safety officers took him into custody.

That’s one way to try escaping execution

Friday, January 9th, 2009

Death row inmate pulls out eye, eats it:

A Texas death row inmate with a history of mental problems pulled out his only good eye, authorities said Friday.

Andre Thomas told officers he ate it.

Thomas, 25, was arrested for the fatal stabbings of his estranged wife, their young son and her 13-month-old daughter in March 2004. Their hearts also had been ripped out. He was convicted and condemned for the infant’s death.

 While in the Grayson County Jail in Sherman, Thomas similarly had plucked out his right eye before his trial later in 2004. A judge subsequently ruled he was competent to stand trial.

A death-row officer at the Polunsky Unit of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice found Thomas in his cell with blood on his face and had him taken to the unit infirmary.

“”Thomas said he pulled out his eye and subsequently ingested it,” agency spokesman Jason Clark said Friday.

Please don’t be a pack rat

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

Hoarder Dies After Becoming Lost in Maze of His Own Trash

An eccentric loner in Britain hoarded so much trash he had to burrow through it to get around his home — then got lost in the maze of tunnels Friday and died of thirst. Human mole Gordon Stewart, 74, had filled his rooms up to the ceiling with 10 years’ worth of garbage and clutter, making it impossible to walk around. The compulsive hoarder is believed to have become disorientated inside the walls of rotting trash and unable to find a way out — then collapsed with dehydration.

Vegetarian Freaks on Display in Phuket

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

Vegetarian Gluttons for Punishment Pursue Pain in Phuket

Doctors in Phuket, Thailand, are warning vegetarians at the annual Chinese Vegetarian Festival that piercing their faces with knives, axes, spades and beach umbrellas could expose them to health risks. Each year, health authorities warn devoted Buddhists that ?Ma Song,? the ritualistic self-infliction of pain, could cause HIV/AIDS and hepatitis infections. And every year, adherents walk barefoot over smoldering coals, climb ladders with rungs made of knife blades and bathe in hot oil?all in pursuit of spiritual trance which will earn good luck for themselves and their neighbors.

Hat tip to Kara!

“He is drinking two bottles of vodka a day and there is no way he would be behaving like this if he was sober”

Friday, July 11th, 2008

Rolling Stones’ Ron Wood, 61, cavorts with 18-year-old waitress

Talk about robbing the cradle. Apparently, 61-year-old Rolling Stones’ rocker Ronnie Wood has run off with an 18-year-old cocktail waitress, leaving his wife of 23 years.

The duo are thought to have fled to the musician’s home in Ireland, where they have reportedly been living for the past week together.

The presumed cause of this sudden change of heart? Wood’s Achilles heel: alcohol.

Wood, who admitted his alcoholism publicly in 2000, is said to have met the young Russian Ekaterina Ivanova three months ago after a premiere of “Shine a Light.” A source told the UK’s Daily Mail the young blond has become a drinking buddy of the rock star.

Aliens after Missing Millionaire

Friday, July 11th, 2008

FMillionaire Missing on Hawaii’s Main Island of Oahu

The millionaire founder of an Internet software security company remained missing on Hawaii’s main island of Oahu this week, police said.

Steven Thomas, 36, was last seen June 30 at the Princess Kaiulani Hotel in Waikiki, where his mother and a cousin were staying.

His family said he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in April but has refused medication.

“He thinks everyone on the island is out to get him,” Candis Thomas said of her husband’s bipolar condition. “He thinks the military is involved, he thinks that aliens are involved, and he’s just been in a real delusion state of being fearful.”

Thomas was arrested April 27 and taken to Castle Medical Center after he ran naked into the middle of a race/walk in front of his home in Lanikai. He also owns a home in Boulder, Colo.

He is the founder of Boulder-based Webroot Software Inc. The software company that created the Spy Sweeper and Window Washer programs was sold in 2004 to a group of investors for about $108 million.

Obama’s Strange Lack of Judgement Continues

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

Clinton Bundler on Obama’s Doyle Pick: The Biggest ‘Fuck You’ Ever

A former bundler to Hillary Clinton just called in to tell me that Barack Obama’s selection of Patti Solis Doyle as chief of staff to the campaign’s eventual vice presidential nominee is the “biggest fuck you I have ever seen in politics.”

The donor, speaking on background, said that everyone in Clinton circles knows the two have hard feelings towards one another and haven’t spoken since Clinton removed Solis Doyle as campaign manager, and that Clinton loyalists view her with deep suspicion and believe that she is shopping around a book deal and acted as a background source for an extremely harsh Vanity Fair piece about Bill Clinton.

“Either one of two things happen,” said the bundler. “Hillary is selected as vice president and they fire Patti, or Hillary is not going to be the vice president.”

How Not To Get Drunk

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Nectar of the Broke: The World’s 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk

Getting drunk on a tight budget is practically a rite of passage. Just about all of us have some tale to tell about nights spent getting shitfaced on Olde English 800 or some equally putrid swill.

But party all the time as we might, it’s doubtful any of us have stories that involve being so broke, we had to resort to throwing down any of this. If we had, we’d likely not have lived to talk about it.

$6,100 for a watermelon in Japan

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Black Japanese watermelon sold at record price

A jumbo black watermelon auctioned in Japan on Friday fetched a record $6,100, making it one of the most expensive watermelons ever sold in the country.

In a society where melons are a luxury item commonly given as gifts, the watermelon’s hefty price tag followed another jaw-dropping auction last month, when a pair of “Yubari” cantaloupe melons sold for a record $23,500.

The 17-pound, black-skinned “Densuke” watermelon, a variety grown only on the northern island of Hokkaido, was purchased Friday by a marine products dealer who said he wanted to support local agriculture, according to Kyodo News agency.

Money falling from the sky in Indonesia

Sunday, June 1st, 2008

Businessman Drops $10,600 From Plane

An Indonesain businessman sparked a scramble for cash when he dropped $10,600 (100 million rupiah) in banknotes from an aircraft to promote a book he has written.

A 13-year-old girl lost consciousness running after the notes and had to be rushed to a nearby hospital, the Detikcom online news service said.

Is Raul Castro about to pull a Gorbachev-style fumble?

Monday, April 28th, 2008

Cuba announces Communist Party congress

President Raul Castro announced Monday that Cuba will convene its first Communist Party congress since 1997 — a major gathering that could chart the island’s political future long after he and his older brother Fidel are gone.

The congress follows a series of minor social changes the younger Castro has decreed to make life easier and less restrictive for ordinary Cubans.

“We have worked hard in these past few months,” the president said during a Central Committee gathering aired on state television. The Communist Party must establish guidelines, including for “when the historic generations are no longer around,” he said.

“It’s extremely disturbing (and) the guy needs psychiatric help.”

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

‘I infected 1500 girls with AIDS’

A SERIES of sickening videos have been posted on the internet showing a man who claims to have deliberately “infected” thousands of women with AIDS.

Calling himself ‘Trashman’ and speaking with an American accent, the masked man says he has infected between 1200 and 1500 unknowing victims with the devastating disease.

He can be seen reading the names and ages of some of the women he claims to have had unprotected sex with in the video clips on website YouTube.

The videos – one of which has been viewed 195,000 times – also feature a web address to a “gangsta” portal filled with pornography and where Trashman has a profile.

Please don’t curse at emergency number operators 6,442 times

Friday, April 18th, 2008

Man calls emergency number 6,442 times

A Romanian man has been fined for making 6,442 profane phone calls to an emergency number, police said Thursday.

The 24-year-old man, who lives in a village in southern Romania, was identified in February and fined $223 in April after a checkup showed he was mentally sound, said Daniela Salaoru, police spokeswoman for Ialomita county police.

Police did not identify the caller. But the Evenimentul Zilei newspaper said he was a well-digger, and reported that he called the 112 emergency number from November to January to swear at the operators. He used a prepaid mobile phone, which does not immediately make it possible to identify the caller, police said.

War on Scientology Update

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

Television Star Exits Scientology

Ruggedly handsome actor Jason Beghe was best man at the wedding of “X-Files” star David Duchovny (his childhood pal) and actress Tea Leoni. In 1998, he starred as Demi Moore’s love interest in “G.I. Jane.” He’s been featured in numerous TV dramas such as “Criminal Minds,” “Numb3rs” and “CSI.”

In 2005, Beghe appeared in promotional spots for the Church of Scientology. But now, Beghe has escaped the church after taking courses since 1994. He’s made a video that’s up on YouTube.

This is what he has to say: “Scientology is destructive and a rip-off.”

He also says: “It’s very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution. I think it stunts your evolution. If Scientology is real, then something’s f—ed up.”

You can see from the video that Beghe does not mince words. But his refreshing candor about the religion he joined in 1994 should shake the Celebrity Center to its core.

Chasing away the homeless with a chain saw

Friday, April 11th, 2008

Man chased us with saw, 5 homeless men charge

The stories unfold like scenes from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies, only this isn’t Texas and the alleged victims claim the roaring sound of the chainsaw is very real.

For months, five homeless men have complained to the Fort Lauderdale Police Department that they have been terrorized by a local businessman known to them only as “the Chainsaw Man.”

They say he chases them through fields and over railroad tracks, armed with a chainsaw, and has even shot at them with a pistol.

Groping boobs at memorial service not too brite

Saturday, April 5th, 2008

Police: Suspect crashed memorial service

A Boulder man was arrested early Thursday after police said he crashed a memorial service, grabbed the breast of the deceased woman’s sister and showed her mother pornographic pictures.

Marlos Hernandez, 31, faces possible charges of unlawful sexual contact, first-degree burglary and harassment after police said he entered a memorial gathering in another unit of his apartment building that had started Wednesday evening and extended past midnight.

When Hernandez upset the mother of the woman who recently died, other grieving guests became upset and a “physical confrontation” ensued outside the apartment complex in the 700 block of Mohawk Drive, according to police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley.

She wanted half, and that’s what she got

Friday, April 4th, 2008

Farmer takes literal appraoch to divorce settlement
A Serb farmer used a grinding machine to cut in half his farm tools and machines to comply with a court ruling that he must share all his property with his ex-wife, local media reported on Thursday.

Branko Zivkov, 76, told Belgrade daily Kurir he had been ready to give his wife Vukadinka her equal share of everthing earned during their 45-year marriage, but was furious at being asked to give away half his farming equipment.

Instead, he bought a grinder and cut in two all his tools, including large items such as cattle scales, a harrow and a sowing machine.

Mugabe goes for broke as Zimbabwe implodes

Friday, April 4th, 2008

Opposition: Mugabe ‘Unleashed a War’

Zimbabwe’s main opposition party says President Robert Mugabe has “unleashed a war” in his bid to stay in power after party offices were raided and foreign journalists detained five days after presidential elections.

The Zimbabwe Electoral Commission had not released official election results by Thursday, despite increasing international pressure. Mugabe was said to be pondering conflicting advice from his advisers on whether to quietly cede power or face a run-off, both humiliating prospects for the 84-year-old president.

Diplomats said Thursday’s events indicated he might be considering a third option: declaring a state of emergency and suppressing the opposition.

The opposition Movement for Democratic Change says its leader, Morgan Tsvangirai, won the presidency outright, but that it is prepared to compete in a run-off.

MDC secretary-general Tendai Biti said hotel rooms used as offices by the opposition at a Harare hotel were ransacked Thursday by intruders he believed were either police or agents of the feared Central Intelligence Organization.

“Mugabe has started a crackdown,” Biti told The Associated Press. “It is quite clear he has unleashed a war.”

Jumping on hand grenade not as deadly as it used to be

Monday, March 31st, 2008

Marine threw himself onto grenade

A Royal Marine who threw himself onto an exploding grenade to save the lives of his patrol has been put forward for the UK’s highest military honour.

Lance Corporal Matt Croucher, 24, a reservist from Birmingham, survived because his rucksack and body armour took the force of the blast.

He was part of a reconnaissance troop in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, in February, when the incident happened.

The Ministry of Defence said he could be considered for the Victoria Cross.

End of world almost here for cave cultists

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Russian doomsday cultists fire on police

Members of a doomsday cult who have shut themselves up in caves beneath a Russian hillside to await the end of the world shot at police to drive them away, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.

Around 30 people, including some children, have barricaded themselves into the caves dug out of a hill in the Penza region of central Russia. They say the world will end on May 28.

The Kommersant newspaper quoted a policeman as saying the shots were fired after he had tried to help cave dwellers who said melt water had dislodged earth in the caves and they were afraid of being buried alive.

What the hell is wrong with NJ Governors???

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

Wife denies gay ex-governor’s claims of three-way trysts

Former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey says he and his wife Dina Matos McGreevey used to engage in three-way sex with his ex-aide and driver.

Dina Matos McGreevey has denied the allegation.

The former aide, Teddy Pedersen, told the New York Post and New Jersey’s Star-Ledger he began having threesomes with the McGreeveys — a routine “hard-core consensual sex orgy” they called the “Friday Night Special” — in the late 1990s during Dina and Jim’s courtship, and that the trysts continued after the couple’s marriage in 2000, the papers reported online Sunday.

Pedersen described regularly sharing a hotel room with the McGreeveys during out-of-town business trips.

“In my opinion, me being a part of their sexual relationship enhanced it for both of them,” he told the Post.

Leave germ warfare to the experts please

Monday, March 17th, 2008

Brother: Man Hospitalized in Vegas Says He Was Sickened by Ricin

A man who has been hospitalized since Valentine’s Day with respiratory ailments and failing kidneys told his brother he believes he was contaminated by the deadly ricin poison found in his Las Vegas motel room.

Roger Bergendorff regained consciousness on Wednesday but remains in critical condition at a Las Vegas medical center.

His younger brother, Erich Bergendorff, told The Associated Press that they spoke briefly on the telephone Sunday for the first time since the ricin was found, and said Roger claimed he had never had any intention of endangering anyone with the toxin.

“He did mention that he would have never done anything to anybody,” said Erich Bergendorff. “He himself is under the impression he was contaminated by it — he did mention the ricin and seemed to say something like, ‘Gee, it sure worked on me.”‘

Erich Bergendorff said his brother told him the ricin was easy to make. But he added that his brother, who was on a ventilator until last week, still had a hard time speaking clearly, so it was not clear whether Roger Bergendorff made it himself or watched someone else manufacture the powder.

Cannibal Warfare in Sierra Leone

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

Top aide testifies Taylor ordered soldiers to eat victims

Grim tales of cannibalism highlighting the brutality of West Africa’s civil wars emerged in testimony Thursday at the war crimes trial of former Liberian President Charles Taylor.

Joseph “Zigzag” Marzah, who described himself as Taylor’s chief of operations and head of the death squad before Taylor became president, said African peacekeepers and even United Nations personnel were killed and eaten on the battlefield by Taylor’s militiamen.

Prosecutors described Marzah as a key witness with inside knowledge of the former Liberian president’s operations in Liberia and neighboring Sierra Leone, where he is accused of responsibility for the widespread murder, rape and amputations committed by soldiers loyal to him.

Taylor, 59, has pleaded not guilty to 11 counts of war crimes and crimes against humanity. He is accused of orchestrating violence in Sierra Leone’s civil war, which ended in 2002, and trading in illegally mined diamonds to finance the conflict.

Strike 2 for naked gator fetishist

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Police Rescue Naked Florida Man
From Alligator-Infested Waters … Again

Bit once by an alligator, blame the gator.

Go wading through alligator-infested Florida waters another time? Police say blame the naked, dazed risk-taker who seems to have a fatalistic attachment to the scaly beasts, according to a report by MyFOXTampaBay.com.

The gator-lover, Adrian Apgar, was naked and high on crack one night a little over a year ago when he lost an arm to a 12-foot alligator, the TV station reports. Then on Thursday, police found him naked again wading in Saddle Creek with a gator only about 50 feet away.

Satan Worshippers strike again

Friday, March 7th, 2008

Mayor Resigns, Claims Abduction By Satan Worshippers

The mayor of an Arkansas town resigned on Wednesday, claiming he was abducted and brainwashed by Satan worshippers nearly three decades ago.

Centerton Mayor Ken Williams said he has been living under an assumed name for nearly 30 years. He had been mayor since 2001.

Williams told authorities he was born Don LaRose and that in the mid-1970s, he was a preacher in Indiana. He said he was abducted and brainwashed into forgetting all about his life as Don LaRose.

Fun with Alcohol in Norway

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Eight British soldiers sent home after stripping in bar

Eight British soldiers have been forced to return home from Norway after they reportedly stripped naked and urinated on each other in a bar during an Arctic training exercise, the defence ministry confirmed Tuesday.

“It’s being taken extremely seriously,” a spokesman for the defence ministry in London said.

He continued: “We can confirm that eight soldiers from 59 Commando Regiment Royal Engineers were arrested by the Norwegian police following inappropriate behaviour.

Leaper in Chicago blamed on blogs

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

BLOGS OF DEATH

No one seems to know why Paul Tilley, the 40-year-old creative chief of ad agency DDB Chicago, jumped to his death from the window of the Fairmont Hotel in Chicago on Friday.

But that hasn’t stopped a barrage of finger pointing on several advertising blogs at the center of a controversy about what role, if any, they played in Tilley’s suicide.

Most of the anger appears to be directed at two sites – Agency Spy and Adscam – that subjected Tilley to scrutiny leading up to his death. Both bloggers defended their coverage yesterday.

“I see in the comments of this post that many will point fingers at this blog for Mr. Tilley’s death. That is unacceptable,” Agency Spy wrote in a posting.

The defense was in response to readers who blamed the public scrutiny and “snarky” comments for driving Tilley over the edge or – at least – contributing to the pressure-cooker atmosphere in the ad industry.

Yet another reason not to be an exchange student

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Starving student blames stingy host family

Jonathan McCullum was in perfect health at 155 pounds when he left last summer to spend the school year as an exchange student in Egypt.

But when he returned home to Maine just four months later, the 5-foot-9 teenager weighed a mere 97 pounds and was so weak that he struggled to carry his baggage or climb a flight of stairs. Doctors said he was at risk for a heart attack.

McCullum says he was denied sufficient food while staying with a family of Coptic Christians, who fast for more than 200 days a year, a regimen unmatched by other Christians.

Oh Boy!

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Boy George denies chaining escort to wall

Boy George, the former Culture Club singer, appeared in court today accused of chaining a Norwegian male escort to the wall of his Shoreditch home.

The 46-year-old pop-star and DJ denied assaulting and imprisoning Audun Carlsen on April 28 last year when he appeared at Snaresbrook Crown Court, east London.

Dressed in black and wearing dark glasses, the 1980s icon stood outside the court and smoked a cigarette before entering the building.

Psycho ex-girlfriend fires off 10,000 text messages in 2 months to her former beau

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

Restraining Order Issued for Woman Who Sent Ex-Boyfriend 10,000 Text Messages in Two Months

Timothy Mortimore’s Valentine’s Day may be less than romantic this year. Mortimore, 37, tells the UK’s Daily Mail he has been unable to lead a normal life since his bitter ex-girlfriend, Lee Amor, 23, bombarded him with 10,000 abusive phone and text messages in two months — an average of one every eight minutes.

Mortimore took Amor to court after she followed him and his current girlfriend, approached him at work demanding they talk, sent a piece of glass she had used to cut herself and tried to convince him he was the father of her unborn child.

Consider this Your War Warning

Saturday, February 9th, 2008

“Independence date: February 17″

The government has information suggesting that Hashim Thaci will declare Kosovo independence on February 17.

In talks with EU High Representative Javier Solana’s adviser Stefan Lene, Kosovo Minister Slobodan Samardžić said that the EU could not expect Serbia to sign off Kosovo’s independence, right before a unilateral declaration of Kosovo independence, said the Kosovo Ministry.

At this moment in time, by signing any sort of agreement with the EU, Serbia would be giving its consent and justification to creating a fake state on its territory, Samardžić reiterated, adding that Prime Minister Vojislav Koštunica “will not sign such an act.”

The EU is attempting to get Serbia to sign any sort of agreement before February 17, since, by doing so, Serbia’s signature would be a signature for Kosovo independence, said the minister, adding that such a signature would justify the loss of 15 percent of its territory, and a violent breach of the UN Charter and Resolution 1244.

Meanwhile in North Korea…

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Rodong Sinmun on Korean People’s Inexhaustible Mental Power

The invincibility of Songun Korea ushering in the most brilliant era of prosperity in the nation’s history spanning 5,000 years, standing all tests of history under the guidance of Kim Jong Il is based on the strong mental power of its people, says Rodong Sinmun Monday in a signed article.
The Korean people are proud to have the strong mental power peculiar to them.
It is the important characteristics of the mental power of the Korean people that it has a tremendous potential and persevering might as it is given fuller play in face of manifold difficulties and trials and that it has been steadily displayed and carried forward generation after generation in the whole course of the revolution.
The Korean people’s strong mental power is based on the great revolutionary idea.
The Juche idea serves as ideological pabulum as it makes the people strongest in faith and will in the world.
The Korean people’s mental power is inexhaustible as it was created and proved in the arduous yet worthwhile revolutionary practices.

Dragged kicking and screaming from the cockpit!

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

Flight to London makes emergency landing after co-pilot suffers mental breakdown

The co-pilot of a Heathrow-bound plane was dragged kicking and screaming from the cockpit after suffering a mental breakdown while in control of the flight.

He began yelling and “invoking God” as the Air Canada 767 flew at 37,000 feet over the Atlantic. He was held down by other crew members and a passenger, a member of the Canadian armed forces.

The co-pilot then had restraints fastened to his wrists and ankles and was handcuffed to a seat. The flight from Toronto made an emergency landing in Shannon and the co-pilot, who had been crying and screaming according to witnesses, was taken off the plane.

He was taken by ambulance to a psychiatric ward where he is being treated for a suspected nervous breakdown.

Animals, animals, animals everywhere

Saturday, January 26th, 2008

SPCA: 200 Animals Rescued From Home

An animal protection group on Friday rescued more than 200 animals, including 26 hissing cockroaches and two bearded dragons, from an eastern Texas home.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said the animals were still being counted Friday night.

The group was acting under the authority of the Harrison County Sheriff’s Department and had gone to the property on a warrant regarding medical neglect.

Besides the cockroaches and bearded dragons, the animals included 68 dogs, 16 rabbits, 15 guinea pigs, 13 gerbils, seven doves, two dwarf hamsters, two hedgehogs, an opossum and a pink toe tarantula.

We’ve Got To Nuke Them And We’ve Got To Nuke Them Now!

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

Pre-emptive nuclear strike a key option, Nato told

The west must be ready to resort to a pre-emptive nuclear attack to try to halt the “imminent” spread of nuclear and other weapons of mass destruction, according to a radical manifesto for a new Nato by five of the west’s most senior military officers and strategists.

Calling for root-and-branch reform of Nato and a new pact drawing the US, Nato and the European Union together in a “grand strategy” to tackle the challenges of an increasingly brutal world, the former armed forces chiefs from the US, Britain, Germany, France and the Netherlands insist that a “first strike” nuclear option remains an “indispensable instrument” since there is “simply no realistic prospect of a nuclear-free world”.

Gen. Butt Naked comes home

Monday, January 21st, 2008

Ex-warlord confesses to 20,000 deaths

One of Liberia’s most notorious rebel commanders, known as Gen. Butt Naked, has returned to the nation his troops terrorized to confess, saying he is responsible for 20,000 deaths.

Joshua Milton Blahyi, who now lives in Ghana, returned this week to face his homeland’s truth and reconciliation commission, this time wearing a suit and tie. His nom de guerre is derived from his platoon’s practice of charging naked into battle, a technique meant to terrify the enemy.

Other warlords, though, have refused to ask forgiveness, dismissing a commission many in Liberia see as toothless. Blahyi is urging other former killers to come forward as the country founded by freed American slaves in 1847 struggles to recover from past horrors.

Radio heckler nearly triggers war with Iran

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

‘Filipino Monkey’ behind threats?

The threatening radio transmission heard at the end of a video showing harassing maneuvers by Iranian patrol boats in the Strait of Hormuz may have come from a locally famous heckler known among ship drivers as the “Filipino Monkey.”

Since the Jan. 6 incident was announced to the public a day later, the U.S. Navy has said it’s unclear where the voice came from. In the videotape released by the Pentagon on Jan. 8, the screen goes black at the very end and the voice can be heard, distancing it from the scenes on the water.

“We don’t know for sure where they came from,” said Cmdr. Lydia Robertson, spokeswoman for 5th Fleet in Bahrain. “It could have been a shore station.”

While the threat — “I am coming to you. You will explode in a few minutes” — was picked up during the incident, further jacking up the tension, there’s no proof yet of its origin. And several Navy officials have said it’s difficult to figure out who’s talking.

Now kids, don’t try this at the airport

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

Man drinks liter of vodka at airport line

A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules, police said Wednesday.

The incident occurred at the Nuremberg airport on Tuesday, where the 64-year-old man was switching planes on his way home to Dresden from a holiday in Egypt.

New airport rules prohibit passengers from carrying larger quantities of liquid onto planes, and he was told at a security check he would have to either throw out the bottle of vodka or pay a fee to have his carry-on bag checked as cargo.

Hat tip to Joey!

Racing Champ Takes Control of Taxi To Make Flight

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

Taxi for Schumacher

A taxi driver in Germany was left shaken and stirred after handing his keys over to seven-times Formula One champion Michael Schumacher.

Schumacher, 38, asked to take the wheel as he was running late for a flight.

“I found myself a passenger, which was strange enough, but having ‘Schumi’ behind the wheel was incredible,” said taxi driver Tuncer Yilmaz.

“He drove at full throttle around the corners and overtook in some unbelievable places.”

After giving the cabbie an unforgettable experience, Schumacher also gave him a 100 Euro tip.

Cops seeking driver who did 219 MPH in Lamborghini

Saturday, December 1st, 2007

Max Speed on Lamborghini Sets New Record

Authorities have confirmed they are investigating a viral Internet video that shows a driver in a Lamborghini who claims to be driving at 219 mph on an Arizona highway.

“This is still an ongoing investigation,” Lt. James W. Warriner, a spokesman for the Airzona Department of Public Safety, told ABC News. “We will not be commenting until the investigation is complete.”

The video, originally posted on YouTube, runs more than four minutes long and appears to be professionally produced.

In the nighttime footage, an unidentified thrill seeker in a gold Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 appears to be pushing the vehicle to within 1 mph of the its 220 mph maximum. At the tail end of the clip, an unseen man is heard claiming the achievement as a new record.

It’s the end of an era

Friday, November 30th, 2007

Iconic Daredevil Evel Knievel Dies at 69

Evel Knievel, the red-white-and-blue-spangled motorcycle daredevil whose jumps over crazy obstacles including Greyhound buses, live sharks and Idaho’s Snake River Canyon made him an international icon in the 1970s, died Friday. He was 69.

Knievel’s death was confirmed by his granddaughter, Krysten Knievel. He had been in failing health for years, suffering from diabetes and pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition that scarred his lungs.

Knievel had undergone a liver transplant in 1999 after nearly dying of hepatitis C, likely contracted through a blood transfusion after one of his bone-shattering spills.

Longtime friend and promoter Billy Rundel said Knievel had trouble breathing at his Clearwater condominium and died before an ambulance could get him to a hospital.

“It’s been coming for years, but you just don’t expect it. Superman just doesn’t die, right?” Rundel said.

Satan-brainwashing really works!

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

‘Satan brainwashed me,’ claims Mayor

Politicians quit their posts all the time, citing predictable reasons for stepping down.

Either they want to spend more time with their family or they have had a fling with someone instead of spending time with their family.

So respect then to the former mayor of a town in Arkansas, who has resigned because he was brainwashed by worshippers of Satan.

Ken Williams left his position in Centerton, claiming the devil lovers kidnapped him nearly 30 years ago.

Marilyn Manson Goes Nazi-Freaky

Saturday, November 24th, 2007

Marilyn Manson Accused Of Buying Girl’s Skeleton

Shock rock singer Marilyn Manson has been accused of squandering his band’s profit on a child’s skeleton and masks made of human skin.

Keyboardist Stephen “Pogo” Bier filed a breach of contract lawsuit in August in which he accused Manson of taking cash belonging to the rest of the band to pay for the “sick and disturbing” purchases.

Swastika wall tiles with matching custom rugs and Nazi government coat hangers owned by Adolf Hitler are allegedly on display in Manson’s Californian mansion, according to legal papers.

Yet another reason to stop eating your hair

Friday, November 23rd, 2007

Surgeons Remove Ten-Pound Hairball From Teen Girl’s Stomach

Surgeons removed a massive 10-pound hairball from the stomach of an 18-year-old girl suffering from a psychological condition in which she ate her own hair, according to a report in this week’s edition of the New England Journal of Medicine.

The teen went to her doctor after complaining of stomach pains and vomiting. She had also lost 40 pounds over a five-month period, according to a UPI report.

Doctors at Rush Medical Center in Chicago carried out a scan and were amazed to find the huge mass of hair blocking her entire stomach, according to NEJM.

Balls of Iron

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

Video Fix: Shaolin Monks, Tough All Over on Danger Room

I’ve never respected — or feared — the Shaolin monks more than after watching this NSFW video.

Hat tip to Steve!

Dr. Moreau Update

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

Neither man nor beast

…On Sept. 5, a government agency (called the Human Fertilization and Embryology Agency or HFEA) decided to let scientists, mad or otherwise, create human/animal hybrids. Let me repeat: Science fiction will become science fact very soon; and man and beast will be combined into one.

A bill will be introduced in the British Parliament this fall to make this a positive right under English law, rather than simply the consequence of an administrative interpretation (which the HFEA issued). It is likely to pass, but even if it does not, the administrative interpretation of the HFEA will permit creation of human/animal hybrids to go forward. And go forward it will, for this is no hypothetical possibility — two teams of scientists have already applied to the HFEA to create human/animal hybrids.

Germans loved Der Fuehrer

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

German historian publishes chilling read: Hitler’s fan mail

For around three generations, the enormous bulk of Adolf Hitler’s fan mail remained hidden from the public’s eyes. Some of the contents of this postal multitude have recently been published in a new book by Henrik Eberle, a German historian.

Eberle found the Nazi fan mail in a government archive in Moscow. Excerpts from Dr. Eberle’s book, “Letters to Hitler – a People Writes to its Leader,” were published this week in the German daily tabloid Bild.

“Dear good Uncle Hitler,” wrote one ethnic German woman, Annelene K., from northeast Prussia, which is today in Lithuania.

“We’ve been waiting so long for you, when are you coming to our region? We would be very happy if we could belong to Germany again. The Jews and the Lithuanians would all then have to leave, wouldn’t they? The Jews not only take our bread – they also slaughter Christians for Easter.”

Around the world in 13 years

Sunday, October 7th, 2007

Adventurer ends 13-year human-powered world trip

Adventurer Jason Lewis on Saturday arrived in Greenwich, ending a 13-year round-the-world trip using only the power of the human body.

The 40-year-old completed the final leg of his 46,000-mile odyssey by pedalling his 7.9-metre boat Moksha up the River Thames.

Ending a journey that included capsizing in the Atlantic, breaking both legs, being chased by a crocodile and being arrested on suspicion of spying, Lewis then disembarked and carried Moksha across the Greenwich Meridian line at the Royal Observatory with the help of supporters.

Lewis set off from the same spot — zero degrees longitude — bound for Portugal in July 1994. The 16-leg journey included hiking, kayaking, mountain biking and hiking.

Invisible aliens harass Bishop, make him look crazy

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007

Police Investigate Bizarre Emergency Call From Bishop

Gallup police reported a bizarre set of circumstances following a recent emergency call to the home of Roman Catholic Bishop Donald Pelotte.

The most recent event happened Thursday when Gallup police reported receiving an emergency call from Pelotte, 62.

An incident report from the McKinley Metropolitan Dispatch Authority reported that Pelotte told operators “…gentle little people, about 3 to 4 feet tall, and wearing Halloween masks” were in the hall. The dispatch log reported that Pelotte said he hid in a closet while the people were in his home.

Flying on a wing and a prayer

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Boy survives two-hour flight to Moscow hanging onto plane wing

A 15-year-old boy from the Urals suffered acute frostbite after riding the wing of a Boeing-737 plane on a two-hour flight from Perm to Moscow, Russian radio station Mayak reported on Monday.

After clinging on for the entire 1300-kilometer (808-mile) flight to Vnukovo Airport, the boy, named Andrei, collapsed onto the tarmac. His arms and legs were so severely frozen that rescuers were at first unable to remove his coat and shoes, the radio station said.

The airport did not confirm the report. “We have no information on this,” the Vnukovo press service told RIA Novosti.

However, Moscow’s air and water transport control department said the radio’s claim was true. A department spokesman said the incident occurred on Friday, and that the boy’s parents were immediately informed, and flew to the capital the same day.

Idiot snake collector of the week

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

Man Bitten After Putting Snake in Mouth

Snake collector Matt Wilkinson of Portland grabbed a 20-inch rattler from the highway near Maupin, and three weeks later, to impress his ex-girlfriend, he stuck the serpent in his mouth.

He was soon near death with a swollen tongue that blocked his throat. Trauma doctors at the Oregon Health and Science University saved his life.

“You can assume alcohol was involved,” he said. Actually, not just beer. It was something he called a “mixture of stupid stuff.”