Archive for May, 2007
Saturday, May 5th, 2007
Paris Ordered to Serve 45 Days in Jail
A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge has sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in L.A. County jail for violating her probation in a reckless driving case. Judge Michael T. Sauer handed down the harsh sentence, telling Paris she will not be allowed work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. She must do the time!
An emotional Paris, with tears welling up in her eyes, told the judge moments before the decision “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Witnesses inside the courtroom say that Paris’ parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, were both visibly upset as the sentence was handed down. Kathy, we’re told, was especially distraught.
The judge called out her rep Elliot Mintz in court, describing his testimony as “completely worthless.” He also told Paris that he did not believe that she was unaware of her license suspension, adding that she had paperwork in her car stating that her license was suspended.
Posted in Fun with Alcohol, Idiot Celebrities | No Comments »
Saturday, May 5th, 2007
Bigfoot risks extinction, says Canadian MP
Bigfoot, the legendary hairy man-like beast said to roam the wildernesses of North America, is not shy, merely so rare it risks extinction and should be protected as an endangered species.
So says Canadian MP Mike Lake who has called for Bigfoot to be protected under Canada’s species at risk act, alongside Whooping Cranes, Blue Whales, and Red Mulberry trees.
“The debate over their (Bigfoot’s) existence is moot in the circumstance of their tenuous hold on merely existing,” reads a petition presented by Lake to parliament in March and due to be discussed next week.
Posted in Animal Weirdness | No Comments »
Friday, May 4th, 2007
The Boeing 737 stuck in city road:
Residents of the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay) are wondering how long it will take to remove a disused Boeing 737 that has been abandoned in a busy road. The decommissioned aircraft was being driven through the city at the weekend when the driver got lost and then abandoned the plane.
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It appears that after taking a wrong turn, the driver found himself facing a flyover that was too low for him to take the plane under.
The driver has not been seen since and no-one is assuming responsibility for the 737.
Posted in I hate it when that happens | No Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
Judge sues for $65 million over pants
The Chungs, immigrants from South Korea, realized their American dream when they opened their dry-cleaning business seven years ago in the nation’s capital.
For the past two years, however, they’ve been dealing with the nightmare of litigation: a $65 million lawsuit over a pair of missing pants. Jin Nam Chung, Ki Chung and their son, Soo Chung, are so disheartened that they’re considering moving back to Seoul, said their attorney, Chris Manning, who spoke on their behalf.
“They’re out a lot of money, but more importantly, incredibly disenchanted with the system,” Manning said. “This has destroyed their lives.”
The lawsuit was filed by a District of Columbia administrative hearings judge, Roy Pearson, who has been representing himself in the case.
Unfortunately for the judge, the story has spread like wildfire and now the Washington Post is calling for his head:
IS THERE anything more absurd than someone pursuing a $65 million lawsuit over a lost pair of pants? Well, how about this same person being in a position to adjudicate the cases of other people? Or that there’s a chance of his getting a new 10-year term as judge?
Posted in Career Limiting Move, Idiot Authorities | No Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
Indian farmers braced for rat plague
Nearly 500,000 Indian farmers are facing the prospect of famine as a plague of rats that strikes once every 50 years threatens to destroy their crops, rice paddies and village granaries.
The Mautam bamboo; Indian farmers braced for rat plague The flowering of a rare species of bamboo causes the rat plague Efforts to control the rodent plague in the north east Indian state of Mizoram have led the local government to offer a reward of one rupee (1.2 pence) for every rat tail delivered to the authorities.
More than 400,000 rats have already been killed, creating piles of tails, which have to be counted by officials before reward money can be disbursed to the catchers.
Posted in Animal Rebellion Update | No Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
Gang Glues Man Naked to Exercise Bike
A gang stripped a South African man before supergluing him to an exercise bicycle while they ransacked his house, according to a report Thursday.
SAPA news agency said the attackers, dressed in suits, hijacked a man in his 50s and forced him at gunpoint to take them to his home in Johannesburg.
“The victim was then forced to strip, after which he was superglued to the seat of an exercise bicycle, his hands were superglued, as were his feet and then his mouth was superglued shut,” SAPA quoted Mark Stokoe, a spokesman for emergency services Netcare 911, as saying.
Posted in Concentrated Criminality | No Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
Threatening Note Had Return Address
A state appeals court Wednesday refused to overturn the conviction of a prisoner who said no one ever saw him write a threatening letter to a judge.
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The appeals court refused, saying the envelope was marked with Turner’s name, inmate number and the address of the prison in Green Bay.
Posted in Idiot Criminals | No Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
D.C. Law Firm Suspends Woman Who Worked as Escort
A legal secretary at one of Washington’s most prominent and well-connected law firms, Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld LLP, has been suspended after telling her bosses she secretly worked at night for the escort service run by the so-called D.C. Madam, Jeane Palfrey.The woman both serviced clients and, at times, helped to run the business, Palfrey told ABC News in an interview to be broadcast on “20/20″ Friday.
The firm said it would not make her name public.
According to e-mails the woman sent to Palfrey on her Akin Gump account, she “enjoyed and even missed” the work she did at night for Palfrey, who has been charged by federal prosecutors with running a large scale prostitution ring.
Posted in Sex, Sexual Deviants | No Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
Indian couple burnt for ‘black magic’
AN elderly Indian husband and wife were burnt to death after villagers accused them of practising black magic, tied them together on a pyre and set them on fire. “The aged couple died screaming for help,” police superintendent P V KuMarch said. Sayanna, 70, and his 61-year-old wife, Pochamma, were set ablaze after being doused with kerosene.
Posted in Concentrated Criminality, Fire | No Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
Sudan’s famous goat ‘wife’ dies:
The best-known goat in Sudan has died months after being “married” to a man in the South Sudan capital, Juba, the BBC has learned. Local elders ordered a man found having sex with the goat, later called Rose, to “marry” her last February. “The idea was to publicly embarrass the man,” says Tom Rhodes, editor of the Juba Post, which first ran the story. The BBC’s story of the “wedding” caught the public imagination and became one of the best read internet stories. Rose, black and white, is believed to have died after choking on a plastic bag she swallowed as she was eating scraps on the streets of Juba.
Posted in T.R.O.P. | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
Digg Surrenders to Mob:
To say what happened today on Digg was a “user revolt” is an understatement. The Digg team deleted a story that linked to the decryption key for HD DVDs after receiving a take down demand and all hell broke loose. More stories appeared and were deleted, and users posting the stories were suspended.
That just got the Digg community fired up, and soon the entire Digg home page was filled with stories containing the decryption key. The users had taken control of the site, and unless Digg went into wholesale deletion mode and suspended a large portion of their users, there was absolutely nothing they could do to stop it.
Posted in Anarchy | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
Anti-fraud official faces fraud probe:
A senior government official is under investigation by a congressional committee for allegations he engaged in “widespread fraud, waste, and abuse” -– the same misbehavior he is supposed to ferret out.
Johnnie Frazier, the inspector general of the U.S. Department of Commerce, is said to have rigged contract bids for cronies, fraudulently charged the government for improper travel, wasted tens of thousands of dollars on an erstwhile office remodeling and may have destroyed files that were proof of his wrongdoing, according to accounts given to lawmakers by current and former employees.
As his department’s senior investigator, Frazier is supposed to “detect and prevent waste, fraud, abuse, and mismanagement” at Commerce, according to his office’s Web site.
Posted in Concentrated Criminality | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
Spider Bite Has Same Effect as Viagra
A Brazilian spider delivers more than a painful bite that sends most victims to the hospital. Its venom stimulates an hours-long erection. Now scientists have figured out the chemical that seems to be responsible for the penis boost.
In Brazil, emergency room staff can immediately spot the victims of a bite from the Brazilian wandering spider (Phoneutria nigriventer). Patients not only experience overall pain and an increase in blood pressure, they also sport an uncomfortable erection.
“The erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort,” said study team member Romulo Leite of the Medical College of Georgia. “We’re hoping eventually this will end up in the development of real drugs for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.”
Posted in Animal Weirdness | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
Gladiator bones found in Turkey:
Scientists believe they have for the first time identified an ancient graveyard for gladiators. Analysis of their bones and injuries has given new insight into how they lived, fought and died. The remains were found at Ephesus in Turkey, a major city of the Roman world, BBC Timewatch reports.
Posted in Historical Oddities | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
Owner lay dead while pair toured her home
A Janesville real estate agent can’t believe she didn’t realize that a form on the bed at a house she showed Monday night was a woman who apparently had been dead for two weeks.
“I’ve smelled death. I know what death smells like,” she said. “I can’t believe my sinuses were that bad.”
Linda Chabucos-Galow, a realtor with Shorewest, was showing the east side house at 1160 N. Claremont Drive to Justin and Colleen McKeen.
Chabucos-Galow stood in the dining room while the couple walked through the house. She heard Colleen scream as the couple stood at the doorway of the front bedroom.
Posted in I hate it when that happens | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Papers Observe May Day:
Papers today dedicate editorials to May Day, the international holiday of the working people the world over.
Rodong Sinmun stresses that it is the steadfast will of all the working and other people of the DPRK to bring about ceaseless surge in the building of a great prosperous powerful nation under the Songun leadership of Kim Jong Il and thus glorify the country as a socialist power of Juche.
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It is the great pride of the WPK and the DPRK to have the large revolutionary and militant unit of working people who are intensely loyal to their leader and their cause and unhesitatingly go through fire and water for prosperity of the country, and it serves as a powerful driving force for building a great prosperous powerful nation.
All the working people should work harder to turn Songun Korea into a prospering paradise of people by inheriting the proud tradition in which they have victoriously advanced the cause of building a prosperous and powerful country under the leadership of President Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il.
Posted in Crazed Dictatorships, N. Korea | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
The Lebanon War inquiry commission hands down the equivalent of a death warrant against Olmert government for its “grave failures”:
Prime minister Ehud Olmert is accused of grave failures of judgment, responsibility and caution in his decisions to go to war in Lebanon last summer and its management. His decision was hasty and undertaken without in-depth study of the circumstances in the arena, a proper plan of action and clearly defined objectives.Full partners in these failures are defense minister Amir Peretz and former chief of staff Dan Halutz.
These are the key findings of the tensely-awaited 250-page interim report evaluating the government’s conduct of the Second Lebanon War 2006 presented by an inquiry panel led by Judge Eliahu Winograd, Monday afternoon, April 30, 2007.
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The defense minister, lacking in military and political experience, was unable to appreciate a strategic situation, yet failed to take advice, heed alternatives proposed to him or develop an independent approach. Therefore, Amir Peretz fell down on the job and was a weak link in the government’s ability to contend with the challenges. [Emph. mine]
Posted in Career Limiting Move, Idiot Authorities, War | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Lots of action off Nigeria, Singapore and Indonesia, including this:
27.04.2007: 0230 LT: Posn 01:18N – 104:14E, Off Singapore Eastern OPL, Malaysia.
Four robbers armed with long knives boarded a tanker at anchor. They entered the engine room via an unlocked main deck door. They threatened the duty engineer with a long knife. They assaulted him, blindfolded him, tied him up, and made him lie down. Duty engineer managed to release himself and raised the alarm. The crew mustered and found that the robbers had stolen engine spares and escaped via the steering gear room door.
Posted in Pirate Update | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Gator parks on freeway, snarls traffic
All it takes is one illegally parked troublemaker to tie up freeway traffic — especially if it’s an 8-foot alligator sprawled across the pavement.
“I don’t remember any of this in the academy,” police Officer Albert Silva said of the traffic jam early Sunday. “As far as I know, there’s no procedure on this other than: ‘Don’t get bit.’”
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The gator even assaulted a police car, biting a chunk out of its bumper.
Posted in Animal Rebellion Update | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Loaded reptiles earn woman house arrest
A woman accused of holding police at bay by brandishing poisonous snakes was sentenced to house arrest and probation.
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Jackson picked up two western diamondback rattlesnakes, a pigmy rattlesnake and two copperheads to try to keep police from taking her into custody, authorities said.
Jackson, who was raising the snakes for laboratories, received several bites during the standoff and was taken to a hospital after police subdued her with a stun gun.
Posted in Idiot Criminals, Suicidal Tendencies | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Drunk groom’s brother takes his place
Villagers at a wedding in eastern India decided the groom had arrived too drunk to get married, and so the bride married the groom’s more sober brother instead, police said Monday. “The groom was drunk and had reportedly misbehaved with guests when the bride’s family and local villagers chased him away,” Madho Singh, a senior police officer told Reuters after Sunday’s marriage in a village in Bihar state’s Arwal district.
Posted in Fun with Alcohol | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Trapeze Artist Dies During Performance Without Net in California
A circus trapeze artist working without a net fell 40 feet to his death during a performance, authorities said. Roberto Valenzuela, 35, of Brownsville, Texas, fell headfirst and died Monday night, said Sgt. Jacqueline Gonzalez of the Los Angeles County Police Department. He was performing with Circo Hermanos Vazquez (Vazquez Brothers Circus.) The troupe had traveled from Mexico for the show at the Whittier Narrows Recreation Area, Gonzalez said.
Posted in I hate it when that happens | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Bee Swarm Shuts Ark. Hospital’s ER:
A swarm of bees clustered outside the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Medical Center shut down the emergency room Monday, as officials waited for a beekeeper to come vacuum up the 7,000 insects. Although no one was stung, the Little Rock emergency room still decided to be closed for ambulance traffic.
Posted in Animal Rebellion Update | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Magicians sue Japan TV networks:
A group of 49 Japanese magicians is suing two local television networks for revealing the secrets behind a series of coin tricks in news footage. The case, filed in Tokyo District Court on Tuesday, seeks damages of 1.9m yen (£8,239) from Nippon Television Network Corp and TV Asahi Corp. Magician Shintaro Fujiyama said the broadcasters had “deprived professional magicians of their assets”.
Posted in Idiot Celebrities | No Comments »
